il ventisei di septiembre

Buona sera!
I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I got back last night from a wonderful (extended) weekend in Paris with my parents and the Harleys! The trip was actually even more extended than I'd originally planned because Europe is, once again, outrageous. This time it wasn't even the Italians, it was the French. I was supposed to fly from Pisa to Paris on Thursday afternoon, but on Tuesday night I received an e-mail informing me that my flight had been canceled because Paris was on strike. What? That kind of thing doesn't just happen in the US...So apparently a bunch of "laborers" in Paris weren't showing up for work on Thursday and I had to change my flight to Wednesday afternoon instead. I mean, I wasn't that upset about missing another day of language school and getting to spend another day in Parigi (the Italian word for Paris, that I think is hilarious), but it was all, nonetheless, ridiculous.
Paris was absolutely beautiful. That's seriously all I can say about it. It was like a book. Haha, looking at this picture of me and my parents I'm realizing how awkward it is...They have all of the good pictures on their nice camera. Hopefully they'll send them and I can share them. We had a blast together. Me playing 5th wheel to my parents. We had some delicious meals. Check out Modge eating SNAILS! (Except this was actually at a really gross restaurant. Unimportant)I came to Paris with my Northface backpack stuffed so full of clothes that I could literally not zip it up, so I made it my mission to find a bigger bag that I could fit my backpack in for the return trip. Obviously, when I put my dad on the mission this is what happened...
Yep...it's a giant rolly backpack. It would have been REALLY cool if I were a 12-year-old boy. But yeah, Pops looks pretty awesome in it. With the handle extended on his back. Not embarrassing at all. Nope. I already miss them, though. Lame. I forgot how much fun my parents are. But, va bene. So they left at like 7 AM on Saturday and my flight wasn't until 4:45--so I was left to conquer Paris solo for the afternoon. By conquer Paris I mean go to the museum where Monet's waterlillies are displayed. Sounds pretty lame, but it was incredible. I don't know anything about art...but I think I like Impressionism. So now I know one thing about art. Thanks, Paris.
All of my HC friends in Firenze went to Oktoberfest this weekend...and still aren't back. So I wasn't really looking forward to getting home because I didn't have anyone to hang out with last night. Welllllll as I was sitting in the Paris, Orly airport waiting at my gate, not speaking French or understanding anything going on, I looked over and the girl next to me was reading Anne Frank...in ENGLISH! So we started talking and I found out that she graduated from Clemson in South Carolina in May and had just finished working in Paris and was going on vacation to Firenze for a few days, so we sat together on the plane and took the train from Pisa together. Amanda was really cool, and we decided we were besties. So when we got to the train station I asked what she was doing (probably kind of creepily, thinking about that in retrospect..) and we met up last night and hung out haaaaaard. Met some hilarious Australian guy. Wandered the streets of Florence with our arms around each other yelling outrageous things. Raged until 4 AM. Ended up at McDonalds. Typical.
Today was kind of lame--I think seeing my parents and the Harleys is making me sort of homesick for the first time. Made me miss everybody. Eight months is a long time...Whatever, though. I went on a long run and went to a really pretty mass tonight, and those two things always tend to make me feel better. University starts tomorrow. Eek. I'll fill you all in on the wonders of Museology next time... Try your best not to check back TOO compulsively. It's going to be stellar. I plan to understand 5 words in the hour and half lecture.
Oh, and on my way back from church tonight I fell off my bike like a ra-tard, and ripped the knee of my jeans like a 5-year-old. Dammit. These are the only jeans I have--because I refuse to try on my old ones because I know they'll be too small, and these have been stretching out with me for the past 2 months. Bummer.
Does anyone watch "How I Met Your Mother". I seriously recommend it.
Vi amo e mi mancate molto!

il dieciotto di septiembre

Holy hell I can't believe it's already the 18th of September. Where is time going?! I've almost been here for two months. That's outrageous. I mean, in a way it feels like I just got here, but I guess it also seems like I've been here forever. Wow, really articulate, Lauren. Don't quit your day job.
Things are still great. The "quiet/detox" week didn't work out as planned (obviously). I'm wondering whether or not I ever believed that it would. haha. Monday was Kristen's host father's birthday party. He was turning 46. Sounds like a nice, quiet night, right? Except that he might actually be the most insane man I've ever met. His name is Paolo, and he came to raaaaaage. It was hilarious! Her house is full of exchange students from all over, and he asked them to invite all of their friends. There was a lot of free alcohol and a lot of American 20-year-olds. I'll let you take it from here. Basically, before we left the house Paolo had both Spencer and myself under each arm and we were screaming the song "We Are the Champions". (Side note: Paolo doesn't speak a word of English. The only phrase he knows is "Don't worry. Be happy." So, his interpretation of Queen lyrics was preeeeeeety stellar). He also knows how to get down, funky man. As you can see. The rest of that night was hilarious--we proceeded to a place called the Shot Cafe where Paolo bought rounds of shots that were on fire...then to a creepy club, where I'm pretty sure we were the only patrons. It was, after all, a Monday. Spencer was grinding on Paolo's wife. Tutto va bene.
Tuesday and Wednesday were super boring because we were trying to behave ourselves. I went on some solid runs. (Please note: this doesn't mean I'm not still gaining weight at an alarming rate). But we were literally going stir crazy by Thursday, so we decided to go out to dinner together. There's this pizza place across the river called Dante's Pizzeria and wine is free for students. So...it's obviously our favorite. It was a fun night. Last night was pretty standard. Buuuut detox week actually just became detox Tuesday and Wednesday. Level of surprise: low.
University starts next Monday. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I'm taking museologia--yes, the study of museums. What? I doubt I could understand most of this course in English. Trying to decipher lectures in Italian is going to be a blast. Ha! Which reminds me: we took a test yesterday in language class and out of 30 points I received an "insufficient". While she was grading the tests our sassy ass teacher Maria Cristiana took off her glasses, set down her pen and said "How does anyone miss 16 out of 21 questions in one section? I don't understand. Go get coffee I need time to think." I'll give you two guesses as to who in our class missed 16/21. You probably don't need 2. I'm a ra-tard. But my speaking is actually getting a lot better. Grammar just isn't my thing I guess... woops.
I wish I had more pictures to share. This week wasn't much of a funny picture week. I wanted to take a picture of my miserably failed test, but we had to turn it back in... Have I ever discussed Maria Cristiana? I don't think I have. She's out of control; she's like 65. She only wears Dolce and Gabana pants and belly shirts, and she has white hair down to her butt and she wears outrageously huge diamond rings and has SO MUCH ATTITUDE. However, she also strongly resembles Dobby the House Elf. This was brought to my attention by two of the HC kids who were here last year, but now that I've been enlightened I can't get over it. I drew a picture of her in class on Friday. It's not a bad representation if I do say so myself.
I miss and love you all! Va bene!

il tredici di septiembre

Ciao tutti!
I haven't written in a week because Megan, one of my best friends from Holy Cross, (usually referred to simply as Quirk or Quirky) has been visiting. She's going to school in Bamberg, Germany for the year--because she's nuts-- and she has a few weeks off of school. So she came to play with us in Firenze for the week. I assumed that she'd be able to stay at our apartment because there's an extra bed in one of our rooms...but when I asked Maria Pia about it she said it would cost 30 Euro a night. So outrageous. Quirky got here on Sunday and we went out to meet some of our German friends, basically I just wanted to hear her speak German. So hilarious. I learned some really important vocabulary words in German. I can now say "cheese" "gnome" "dessert" and "bundestland"--I don't even know what that one means, really. But it's absurd. German is absurd. So we went out to a few bars, met some ridiculous people. The usual. The next day we had to go to school, and Quirky met up with us later. Apparently she isn't used to drinking wine like we are... because this happened the next afternoon. Yep, puking in public. Bravo, welcome to Italy.
The next day I decided it would be nice to be touristy and take Megan to the top of the Duomo. The Duomo is the central cathedral in the middle of the city and you can climb up 400 some steps to the top and it's the most incredible view you can possibly imagine. However, on the way up Quirky decided to divulge the fact that she's terrified of heights...so she was like shaking and her palms were like dripping with sweat. Needless to say she didn't make it all the way to the top. I felt like a jerk, but Jenna, Anna and I decided to continue on without the fallen soldier.
On Thursday we had this incredible trip planned by Holy Cross where they took us wine tasting in the Tuscan countryside. It was so beautiful! We had a really good time, also. They even let Quirk join us, and school paid for it ahead of time.
I really wish I'd written this right away because then I could remember more funny stories instead of just recounting what we did. Bummer. EXCEPT after we got back from wine tasting we sat on the Duomo steps for a long time people watching and making fun of people and pigeons... Jenna hates pigeons more than anyone I've ever seen, please note... and when we got up to leave a pigeon swooped down on her head and grabbed her hair. She almost started crying. Alright, fine, maybe it doesn't sound that funny now...but at the time it was absolutely hysterical. I'm pretty sure I "vomitare"d again that night. Sweet. I'm also pretty sure Quirk took a picture of it. Even sweeter.
The next day was Quirk's last day in Florence so we obviously went nuts again. Except for some weird reason she broke out in hives when we were out and looked like she had leprosy. However, she was convinced that she was just sunburned... I have since diagnosed her with a Jagermeister allergy. Lauren Evans M.D. Regardless, that whole situation was hilarious. I'm pretty sure everyone we met was terrified of her. Oh, she was obviously also wearing a backpack out to bars...
The next day we all headed to Pisa because she was flying out of Pisa really early Sunday morning. Pisa sucks. This is me strongly recommending that no one visits. The only good thing about it is the leaning tower, clearly. And the only good thing about the tower is watching Asian people take hilarious pictures with it. Which actually might make the whole trip worth it. Asians are hilarious. We ended up taking pictures with Asians who didn't know we were taking pictures with them... but then we tried to find a hotel because Adair was feeling sick and wanted to go to bed early, and that was a disaster. The hotel guy started ranting about 9/11 and being a total d-bag. So Spencer, Quirk and I decided it would be best to stay out as late as we could so we wouldn't have to sleep. That was actually a lot of fun. We met some funny Irish guys who worked for RyanAir and lived in Pisa and talked to them all night. But Pisa sucks.
Now begins my week of detox... and sleeping. Which is not something I did very much of last week. I'll get better at blogging again. I promise.
Hopefully I'll remember funny stories and share them in later posts. Because I promise there are funny stories...
Mi mancate molto! E vi amo!

il quattro di septiembre

To all of you naysayers out there who are saying "There's no way Lauren can gain THAT much weight in a year", I would like to share this picture of what I just ate for breakfast. At 1:30 in the afternoon. When I woke up.
I mean, she feeds us cake for breakfast every morning! And I'm not talking coffee cake, or something like a muffin that's not actually a breakfast food but people pretend it is. I'm talking cake. And today was apparently a special occasion because while I was eating she brought out a bowl of frosting that she was making and plopped it right on top. So I will be morbidly obese when I return. Not to worry.
But talking about meals made me realize that I haven't ever posted a picture of where we eat. We eat breakfast and dinner outside on her little balcony that looks at this
It's a pretty significant place in my life. Since it's where I'm happiest--eating Maria Pia's food.
Did I already mention that I bought a bike?! It's a piece of junk, but it's so nice to not have to wait for the damn autobus all the time! We named it "Liberta'" which for all of you non-Italian speakers means "liberty". haha. It only cost me 30 euro because everyone always talks about how bikes get stolen right and left in Firenze, and it's not worth it to buy a new one. I really wish it wasn't so painful, though. The cobblestones and the rock hard bike seat aren't an AWESOME combo at 8:30 in the morning...
In other news, school is still boring, but I'm so glad to have our new friends here. It's really fun. My Italian is still phenomenal when I've had some vino and sub-par when I'm sober. Va bene. Last night we went to our hilarious tourist bar, but Guiseppe's on holiday so he wasn't there to hang out. Instead his girlfriend's parents are running it, and they are the most outrageous people in the world. The mom is like obsessed with me for some strange reason. They don't speak a word of English. Last night she decided that her son and I should meet. She was so bent on the idea that she went inside and pulled out a digital camera to show me pictures of him. I REALLY WISH I COULD SHOW YOU ALL THOSE! Briefly: he's 30. Overweight. The pictures are of him in a tiny Italian bathing suit laying on a chaise lounge with a Maltese. I mean, it was taking everything inside of me not to laugh at her... My only response was "Eh, penso che lui sia un po piu vecchio per me.." That I think he's a little too old for me--not that he's disgusting and probably still lives at home.. Thanks, though.
The night obviously just kept getting more ridiculous. We ended up at a private birthday party for some bazillionaire Brazilian kid that Raffaella introduced us to before she left. Spent a long time dancing there and pretending like we can speak Italian. Out of control.
Well, college football officially starts today. So I'm in mourning. I'm going to scour this town for a pub to watch ESPN... embarrassing. I didn't take enough pictures this week. Mi dispiace.
Mi mancate molto, e vi voglio benissimo. Va bene.